While enjoying a brisk walk to a local sandwich joint for lunch, I neglected to notice a woman sitting outside the entrance. Upon settling into my lunch routine (napkins, sitting near the window, in a corner—if possible—scowling) I was rudely interrupted by movement and screaming outside the window.
It was then that I discovered a woman, (or what was once a woman) wailing on the sidewalk. Kneeling, she spit and writhed in a circle like a cursed snake, occasionally falling over for attention from bystanders. Naturally, the good people of San Francisco are immune to everyday zombie attacks from local crackheads; nevertheless, people freaked out. Mainly because the woman was cuddling TWO MICE. One black, one white. She kept moving them all around in her hands, lifting them to the sky, and forcing onlookers to acknowledge them.
As if this scene isn’t grotesque enough for you, the woman suddenly notices an abandoned sandwich and soup in the outdoor seating area of the sandwich shop. Upon this foodsighting she jumps up—mice in hand—hastily grabs the sandwich and soup, and slings food all over the sidewalk.
At this point, one would think the hungry homeless lady would be thankful or proud to have come across such treasure. Not crazy mice lady. As she settled back into her kneeling position, she took the remains of the sandwich and sacrificially smeared the food all over the mice, hoisting them into the air. She then delicately took a soup spoon, and poured vegetable soup all over the heads of the mice.
Naturally, I look to my fellow human beings sitting near me for some sort of explanation or understanding as to how and why a homeless woman would dump a sandwich and soup onto her two mice pets.
Alas, the soulless inhabitants of the Financial District did not notice this spectacle, nor how she lifted her shirt and placed the foodcovered mice into the safety of her pants, for travel.
What did I just witness?